Your presence matters

Your presence is the best gift you can give to your child. Many parents spend a lifetime dealing with their children, planning occasions, educating and grooming them, but a few really pave a way to their child's heart. Montessori School of Silicon Valley suggests that being completely present is the way to make a special place in your child's heart.

So what does being completely present mean? It implies that you stop the consistent babble in your mind that keeps you thinking about past schedule and events, dreading and foreseeing future events. It implies that you quit judging your child's conduct and try to shape him into who you think he ought to be and rather try to be curious about who his is. It implies that you pay attention on how your child feels from within and influences him to feel that profound connection between you and him. Rather than unwittingly pushing his small arms and legs into his bed, caress him till he feels relaxed, give your complete attention and love to the little one in front of you, converse with him, treat him with the utmost respect and care and adore him with love.

It's essential to maintain this propensity of being available and connecting with our child as they grow older. Rather than surging by them in the foyer, pause for a minute to stop, look at them affectionately without flinching and acknowledge their presence.

Rather than shouting from the next room and advising your child to stop running and after that hollering again and again, try to play with your child with full enthusiasm. Or if you don’t have this much of energy, set your child free, stoop down to his level, and let him know he can play outdoor games or can enjoy indoor games quietly. Associate with him and wait until he settles on his choice and then affectionately escort him outside or to a tranquil indoor game.

Looking at the situation objectively, it is your own particular disappointment and frustration that debilitates your relation with your child and urges him to block you out. It is because you are not present and your anger and resistance to the moment keeps you baffled and disengaged from your child. This makes your child to mirror your peevishness and you may wind up more disappointed than ever before!

It is easy to get so lost in the rules, roles and commitments of parenthood so much that you forget to have quality time with your child. You might become so busy in teaching them in appropriate way, trying to deal with their conduct that you may overcome a great opportunity for truly connecting with him. But remember, regardless of anything, your presence really matters for your child.