Your presence is the
best gift you can give to your child. Many parents spend a lifetime dealing
with their children, planning occasions, educating and grooming them, but a few
really pave a way to their child's heart. Montessori
School of Silicon Valley suggests that being completely present is the
way to make a special place in your child's heart.
So what does being
completely present mean? It implies that you stop the consistent babble in your
mind that keeps you thinking about past schedule and events, dreading and
foreseeing future events. It implies that you quit judging your child's conduct
and try to shape him into who you think he ought to be and rather try to be
curious about who his is. It implies that you pay attention on how your child
feels from within and influences him to feel that profound connection between you
and him. Rather than unwittingly pushing his small arms and legs into his bed, caress
him till he feels relaxed, give your complete attention and love to the little
one in front of you, converse with him, treat him with the utmost respect and
care and adore him with love.
It's essential to maintain
this propensity of being available and connecting with our child as they grow
older. Rather than surging by them in the foyer, pause for a minute to stop,
look at them affectionately without flinching and acknowledge their presence.
Rather than shouting
from the next room and advising your child to stop running and after that
hollering again and again, try to play with your child with full enthusiasm. Or
if you don’t have this much of energy, set your child free, stoop down to his
level, and let him know he can play outdoor games or can enjoy indoor games
quietly. Associate with him and wait until he settles on his choice and then
affectionately escort him outside or to a tranquil indoor game.
Looking at the
situation objectively, it is your own particular disappointment and frustration
that debilitates your relation with your child and urges him to block you out.
It is because you are not present and your anger and resistance to the moment
keeps you baffled and disengaged from your child. This makes your child to mirror
your peevishness and you may wind up more disappointed than ever before!
It is easy to get so
lost in the rules, roles and commitments of parenthood so much that you forget
to have quality time with your child. You might become so busy in teaching them
in appropriate way, trying to deal with their conduct that you may overcome a
great opportunity for truly connecting with him. But remember, regardless of
anything, your presence really matters for your child.
