Very Basic Problems New Parents Face

Ms. Mimi is starting a serie​s of blogs to answer some of the very basic problems new parents face.

Soothe a Crying Baby the Montessori Way

Question from Her Pain is My Pain:

Hello, Ms. Mimi. 

I am a new parent and I am at a loss when my 8 month old cries over everything.  Some of my friends and family have said to pick her up every time while others advise that I let her cry it out.  Could it be that she is always hungry?  I simply don’t know what to do.  I feel like horrible for not knowing how to comfort my own child.  Please help!

​Dear Her Pain is My Pain,

Great news!!  You are not alone.  Children are complex even in infancy, and when their only means of communication is crying, it can become overwhelming to both the child and the parent, but fret-not, there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Many parents believe that when a child cries it must mean they are hungry or in physical discomfort or pain, but that is not always the case.  Babies can cry for many reasons.  Maybe they’re scared, cold, hot, worried, bored, lonely, or they may simply be experiencing a sad or bad memory.

So how do we soothe a crying baby the Montessori way?

Dr. Maria Montessori advise that we “follow the child“, in which case, it is important to spend time with your baby to learn what is being said with each cry.  Only with that will you understand how to meet your child’s needs.

In The Joyful Child, Michael Olaf states that a crying infant rarely requires food.  In fact, he wonders if babies were less soothed with food if that would alleviate the obesity problems we currently face.  He also states that it is the responsibility of attentive parents and caregivers to understand the cries of an infant so to better understand their sense of communication.

Here are a few guidelines to help with the process, as it will take some time to learn to differentiate the cries.

– First, speak in a calm and gentle voice, reassuring her that you are present.

– If that doesn’t work, make eye contact so to redirect her focus onto you.

– And if those don’t work, then check for physical pain or discomfort i.e. wet diaper, hungry, the need to be re positioned etc.

All children are different, and all children will have their own distinct cries to express their needs.   Be patient and be present.  You will learn to decode the cries and know that not all situations require immediate adult intervention.  It is important to watch for learning opportunities, and while it may be a bit irritating to the child, the space to work through their discomfort and gain independence and confidence in oneself is critical in their development.

Ms Mimi Ha

Infant Montessori Lead teacher

Mimi Ha, winner of the 2013 Milpitas Post Best Teacher of the Year and Best Infant Program awards, has been working with young children for nearly a decade.  She has a Bachelor’s of Arts degree in Communicative Disorders and Sciences, Degree in Sociology and Liberal Arts. Ms. Mimi worked with various leading non-profit organizations that support children with Autism. Ms. Mimi believes that children are the key to a brighter world and through them we can learn a great deal about ourselves.

Education, for Infants?

Children are astonishing in a sense that their minds are like an ever growing, expanding, and curious wonder. When parents think of education for their child, it is a surprise that education can start as soon as after birth! Even more surprising is that education can expand beyond the ABC’s and 123’s during the infant years! Education, such as the Montessori Method, provides an amazing wealth of education for life! Why wait until your child reaches the preschool or Kindergarten age before thinking about what type of future you want for your children?

Dr.Maria Montessori, creator of the Montessori Method, refers the young child’s mind like a sponge, also known as the Absorbent Mind. Because the young child’s brains, especially during the infancy years, are very much like a sponge, he or she effortlessly absorbs information and feedback all around them. Children begin to gain an understanding of the world, develop themselves, and bring out their spirit as a result.

The Montessori Method can be applied almost immediately! Whether your family decides to start by going to a Montessori School that has a Montessori infant program, or implementing Montessori at home, it is beneficial to the development of your child as a whole. What does that mean, to “development of the child as a whole”? Well, let’s first think about the word, “education”. What is the purpose of “education”? Most parents would agree that it is supposed to teach children knowledge applicable to thrive in our society. So, what’s the point of “educating” a baby?

It is unfortunate, yet not uncommon, that some adults would question and underestimate the capabilities of an infant. When in actuality, given the right environment, materials, and support, babies develop intelligence that will help them blossom in creating an understanding of how the world works while simultaneously nurturing their independence and confidence. 

The Montessori approach towards educating children takes into account their physical, social, emotional and cognitive growth. It is understood that not everyone learns at the same pace or rates as other, which is why it is important to follow the child as respected unique individuals. The earlier children are supported in their development by the environment and adults, the more sure they are of themselves to pursue their interests and explore their curiosity freely! This surely assists the child’s progression in growth as a whole.  

The earlier children begin feeling supported through their development in Montessori, whether it is at school or home, the bigger the difference it will make in the young child’s life. There are many things parents can do to at home to add a little bit of Montessori at home! I’m sure that once we try these few adjustments, you will see their spirit of unique individuality emerge! Let’s welcome it!

Let’s give this a try:

1. This is the most important reminder for parents: Rescue is robbery. It is ok for mistakes to happen. It’s actually a big part of learning! Often times parents would do things for the child, rather than allowing them time or practice to develop mastery. If he is trying to feed himself, let him try it out. He might miss his mouth, or food will spill onto his clothes or the ground. But just remember, give him time, he will get the spoon to his mouth!  
2. Let her touch it! During the infancy years, children are learning and absorbing the world using their sense of sight, touch, taste, hearing and smell. Give them something they can explore using their senses, and a couple other objects so they can discriminate and formulate their own observations of what they are experiencing
3. Never too early for some responsibilities! Children, even the very young child develop a sense of independence and confidence when they feel they can contribute to the community with using their practical life skills. Feel free to give them a job that is important such as watering the plants, and at the same time, chat with them on what they are doing is not only helping the plants grow, but adds beauty to your home. They’ll love feeling they like they are helping and in turn will want to do more for themselves!

Montessori education is an education for life. Infant and early toddler aged children are very capable individuals, and if given the right environment can surprise you!
-Written by Milinh Ha Villanueva